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Friday, July 28, 2006

SHEEHAN PURCHASES A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN IN TEXAS

CRAWFORD TEXAS---Renowned war protestor and one time mother, Cindy Sheehan purchased a "fly speck," on the Texas map in Crawford Texas.

Using what Ms. Sheehan called dirty money, a government insurance policy from her sons death, she drew upon a trick known as The Texas Two Step to purchase a five acre plot of cactus and scrub land seven miles from President Bush's well kept ranch.

A fellow war protester Gerry Fonseca, acting as Sheehan's agent, stated he bought the five acre armadillo habitat for $52,500.

Posing as a homeless Katrina victim, Fonesca told Realtors that he wanted to settle in and "just build a little place to find a new start."

Sheehan, who is usually spat upon when she shops in Crawford, knew she didn't stand a chance in Hades to buy the property so she sent in Fonesca as a decoy.

Crawford residents are not taking kindly to being hoodwinked and soon threatened to burn down the five acre estate but there is nothing there to torch but catus and armadillos and Texans respect there state flower and mammal to much to do that.

A spokesman for the real estate firm said they had all but given up on selling the five acre plot and was about to let it be used as a place for kids to take their guns and "plink," tin cans and old beer bottles.

"And as far as I am concerned the boys are still welcome to go there and "plink," any piece of litter they can find," the spokesman said.

Ms. Sheehan on the other hand has thought about planting a peace garden on the land with a little house built of native materials ( mesquite ) to study with other protestors how to recreate a world where there is no more war, no anger and freedom for all who hate America to vent their frustration.

"When Bush gets impeached or forced to leave then who knows what we will do with the ranch. By then the taxes will be due and taxes means more money for war machines," Sheehan told reporters. "Guess I'll just have to go back home to California and become a housewife."

11 comments:

boberin said...

Maybe George will stop by and help her clear some brush. He seems to enjoy that sort of thing and some time together in the fresh air and sunshine just might bond these 2 wacky kids. Stranger things have happened.
Good to see you back in the swing Ms!

tomg said...

So many thoughts..
What, another cult near Waco?
One more feral hog.
The surrounding land is leased for hunting.
Whoever has mineral rights can camp out on her property 24hrs a day, with serious equipment, lights, and noise.
Heaven in Texas is usually thought of as BlueBell Ice cream.
I think her fast has included some 'heaven'.
Her taxes will be lower if she keeps cattle (really, truly, hope to die).
Welcome, Cindy.
And to find the scorpions on your property, use a black light after dark.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Ahh yes the scorpions. Does Moses live in Texas???

tomg said...

"Not any more"
posted by da Scorpions

Cindy - its best to pick them up with your tongue.

Beerme said...

I know you mentioned mesquite but really, with her handlers around, she should probably think in terms of tin foil, at least for the roofs. Mother Sheehan calls for the Mother Ship...

Kajun said...

I recall seeing a sign in SW Texas, a few years ago that advertised "5 wooded acres for sale...Of course the wood was all mesquite and only about 6 feet tall.

In the center of this woodland was a deer hunting stand built about 6 feet taller than the woods...I laughed for miles!

camojack said...

Cindy She-hag would be right at home amongst the scorpions, methinks...

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

My hope is that she stays busy clearing brushland, building her house of mesquite (bar-b-q anyone)and picking scorpions off her body that she becomes one with the background noise.

Hawkeye® said...

Ahhh, yes! I can see it now...

(Start music) "Imagine all the people, living life in peace..."

Welcome to Paradise, TX!

prettyold said...

Don't we all know somone who lives atop a Hill of Scorpians? Just in case Sindy ran short of them,I'd be willing to chip in, to Fed-Ex her a large box.
I'll have one more Cinnamon Roll,please,I like the corner ones....Or the center ones,or the ones in between.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

prettyold

Yes I did think of him after I started on the scorpion raampage. I hope not to disturb his little critters in any way.

Fresh tray coming up