Settle in, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy your stay here at Shelly's. The pie is great, the coffee pot is always on and soon you will find this to be the best place in town. SOON TO BE AMERICA'S MOST READ BLOG

Saturday, December 30, 2006


Some of our new readers may not know Aunt Sarah. She has been a faithful reader for many years but has sadly gotten busy and ignored us for a while. Her wit and husbands down home political insight has always amazed us

Dear Friens

I shur be haten to admit that it ben quite a long tim since I writ folks at Scrappleville and after the poleece came nockin on our door here bout a few weeks ago lookin for Ms, well I be thinkin just how we lost tuch with yall.

We spent a little time on the telerphone with the Edwards family talkin bout politics and such, beein pa knows bout much as any man here in Hindsville. They have a son Carter ya heard Shelly tell bout him at her cafe. It suddenly like hit me that Edwards folks had a son named Carter and we had a good kick bout that. Thing is the Edwards we know ain't got near as much hair and Carter doesnt know Israel from a peanut. But that is just like the other Carter to.

I keep readin bout that boy at the cafe place and figured a trip to Arkysaw wood do him a rat bit of good but the train don't run by here and I reckon he ain't got no car ta make it no wear nears. Pa sed we sure could use a place like Shellys here bouts, git some good yarnen goin for sure

So what me and pa been doin all these here days since? I be delited to tell ya now that pa been crowin all bout town. We sold the back 10 acers to a goverment experimenten place that studies a thing called glober warmering. Seemed like Clinton owed some money or somptin to Al Gore and insteed got him a grant to build this building full of imsterments of doo dads and sence they didnt want no onlookers starin about we sold them the only rode back thar.

Seence that day bout a yeer now pa had his hands full pullin gags and messen with them folks by paintin there windows with cyclone clouds, putting chicken droppins near there methain chekers and one day he set an ol dead mule with the bloat roun back where they check on air cwality here in Arkysaw.

One goverment man sed if things don't git better that chicken farmin will hafe ta go and Walmarts will buy up everthin insted and bein the folks here bout depens on chickens to pay thar rent we decided the mule had ta go.

We sold the Studebaker pikup to Jake Wildahan down in Gypsum Furnace last fall since parts were hard ta come by and be'en broken down ment no visitin and for pa, worse yet no goen ta Interational House of Pancakes. Pa found himself an old Dodge pickup over in Myrtle Ridge and though it were just a 65 model the tars all match up pretty well. My daughter that works for Arkysaw Bell, you know the one that got a job as a call girl, came by one day to drop off our granchild and pa put her back on the bus and sent her back to Little Rock. He didn like the childs big city ways cuz the kid was 12 and had no idear bout gettin wedded up anytam soon. Pa sed he didn wanna be supportin any old maids

We got a Christmas card from New York City. Seems since we own all this goverment area property all them politishuns thinks we are sumptin speshal. Hillary and that husbnd of hers sed they were wishin us the best and thinking bout us. Pa didn sleep for a week sittin on top of his Dodge waiten fer Bill but I finnly convinced him that probably at lest a hunderd others got that same card.

We got a new roof fer our house with the goberment money but pa really wanted a double wide but I told him I just couldnt move out of the old place since all are memries are here. We been thinkin hard bout pulling the barn back up from the slu also. Been down thar since the big flood 2 years back.

Well that's bout all ceptin our last visit up ta Fayetteville last wek to the Interational House of Cakes. Pa had his try at the latest speshal though I warned him better. It was called the New Deal Deal. Seems like it were to be steak and eggs but all we saw was pork and the more ya paid fer the less ya got. Pa were fit ta be tied and the waitress as uzual had a good laugh but filled him up with Buckwheat cakes now pa is rat happy.

He stopped over cross the street to se if theys were any of them highly polished educators hanging at the university but theys all home for Christmas. He brout home a protestor a few weeks back who sed things were deplorabe in Iraq but after stayin here a few days he sorta changed his mind and thought maybe things over there might be a bit better than here. Pa laughed and sed it worked evertime.

With all our love from wonderfull Arkysaw
Aunt Sarah and Uncle Willie


Nylecoj said...

Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year Ms RW. It was great to hear from Aunt Sarah and Uncle Willy.

Maggie said...

There's nothing better than a letter from down home.Glad to see you back in the captain's chair at the bunker.
Happy New Year.

Beerme said...

Great job!
I think we all been a eatin' that there New Deal Deal fer a spell, now...

UpNorthLurkin said...

Long as it ain't lutefisk....c'aint be that bad!! Great to hear from Aunt Sarah and Unc Willy!!

onlineanalyst said...

You'd think that Hillary and that husband of hers would send a "special" card to their friends in Arkysaw.

Hankmeister said...

Whoooo wheeee, eet's like hearin' voices from da grave.

Aunt Sarah and Uncle Willy, has y'un seen that Jethro Bodine 'round lately? He mus'n be gittin' up thar in age but I hear he's still awfully sprightly for'n a man his age and still likes swimmin' in thet cement pond.

Heppy New Years all'n u hillbilly folk! An' don't let them bedbugs bite too bad, ya' hear now?

Hawkeye® said...

Well... I was wonderin' who was behind Aunt Sarah and Uncle Willy. I reckoned it musta been sumbuddy speshal. Nows I know, and I'm durn near splodin' with happeeness.

(:D) Regards...

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Oh no, I been busted. Gee I thought everyone knew, but hey, it is kind of nice not knowing the real Aunt Sarah. Sort of like "watching" the Lone Ranger on the radio

I hope Aunty shows up more often now.

And to all a happy New Year. Starting to lose my eyesight again, but it will come back (I hape)

camojack said...

"My daughter that works for Arkysaw Bell, you know the one that got a job as a call girl..."

Too funny!!!