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Friday, March 27, 2009

Earth Hour 2009

Friday, March 27, 2009

Not one to be on top of ecological celebrations, I only discovered the world-wide fantasy called Earth Hour that is to be blasted across my wonderful planet so satellites floating in the heavens above can say we too can be a “dark continent.” Sorry Africa, I needed that term.

The World Wildlife Fund
, sponsors of the "Grab Your Light Switch and Shake It Baby," wants you to turn off your nonessential lights between 8:30 and 9:30 Saturday night. Now I have no idea what time zones they are talking about. I presume it is wherever you are.

Carter Roberts, chief executive of the World Wildlife Fund said, "Earth Hour makes a powerful statement that the world is going to solve this problem by walking around in the dark. We environmentalists have been doing it for years.”

Meanwhile a best selling book that has been in print for years states, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. *

When asked about that quote, a high ranking unnamed source from the WWF said he thought the verse was vaguely familiar, perhaps from Walden's Pond, but wasn't quite sure what it meant, so he quickly moved back to the subject of darkness.

“Even McDonald's will soften their yellow arches for that hour, along with Jolly Jack's Burger Style Fish & Chips, Martha's Pizza and Beer Garden and Green Pastures Health Food Emporium,” the spokesperson went on to say.

It has been reported that children can line up and help an odd looking clown turn down the lights of the Golden Arches on notch at a time or until swarms of lost moths begin to smother the youngsters. Helping Birds Migrate, a nonprofit organization out of Mojave California, said the darkness may cause millions of migrating hummingbirds and assorted butterflies to loose their bearings and end up crashing into mountains. “This is an important time of year for the little fellas and I think those guys are hurting our ecology, not helping,” said Boris Gashouse, founder of the organization.

U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon encouraged those who chose darkness rather than light, to reach a fair and effective climate change tax agreement and promoted the Earth Hour participation in a video posted this month on the event's YouTube channel.

Still there may bit of sanity left in America but it may be hard to find tomorrow night. Across this continent people like suburban Philadelphia ice cream shop owner Bob Gerenser, 56, believes global warming is based on faulty science and calls Earth Hour "nonsense,” so the resident of New Hope, Pa., and owner of Gerenser's Exotic Ice Cream planned to illuminate his store with extra theatrical lighting. "I'm going to get everyone I know in my neighborhood to turn on every light they possibly can to waste as much electricity as possible to underline the absurdity of this action ... by being absurd," he said.

Others like Gerenser use the insane to produce sanity, but we here at the cafe will help find humanities answer for hope. I, Micheala will be asking the population to celebrate the warmth and beauty of light. At 8:30 p.m., put your favorite rock group's CD from a bygone era on your boom box and go outside with your Bick lighter ablaze and wave it to and fro with the music in case one of those CIA spy satellites is passing your home from high above. Nothing beats the smell of good clean butane, so let them blaze America!

If you want to take this protest one step further, march down to your local novelty store where they sell those luminescent necklaces, teeth and jacket pins you see at every 4th of July event. Ask the clerk for a large green wienie and if they don't carry large green wienies, craft one out of Styrofoam, the kind that never degrades, and wrap hundreds of those cheap necklaces round about your handmade creation and toss it to the wind while shouting," I'm garsh darn made and won't take global warming nuts anymore.”

Good luck fellow Americans

*Matthew 5: 13-16


Barb said...

But ,Surely,sorry ,but Shelly wouldn't it be more effective if we all had the same CD on our Boomboxes? Maybe "I Can See For Miles and Miles ",by The Who?
Can I use my windup Led light Flashlight/radio/cell phone charger instead of a butane lighter? A lighter makes me long for a cigarette,and I have never had a chance to use my F/R/CC

camojack said...

Coincidentally, since I work third shift and stayed up past noon on the day in question, I got up at 8:30...and naturally I turned on the lights.

Anonymous said...

Ms. RightWing, we clearly need a government program to help liberals migrate north to Canada. Such troublesome pests who ruin national economies ... good riddance!


Hawkeye® said...

Hi Shelly,

Good quote from that "best-selling book". Here are a couple more...

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in him is no darkness at all. --1John 1:5

And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one who does evil hates the light, and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. --John 3:19-20

God Bless...

Ms RightWing's Ink said...


I burned up 4 Bics tonight. Oh I just love that butane. Carbon, carbon everywhere, not a green wienie anywhere.

My apartment hsd every light on, pus, the TV, computer, fan, air conditioner and both boom boxes. Drats I forgot my o2 machine


I think we all gave them the chance to move when Bush won the last time but nobody took us up on it.


Thanks for the new verses!

Beerme said...

Bravo! Way to stick it to "the Goracle"! (Bic aloft and lit)