WASHINGTON —A 6,000 page report was released today by the Army Corp of Engineers showing what happened, how it happened and who was responsible for the destruction of New Orleans last fall after Katrina destroyed the historic town while many residents sat watching the impending doom approach on the Weather Channel.
The report contained vast amounts of technical terms, such as corruption, incompetence, extortion, tom foolery and hypnotic trances, the later from watching the above mentioned weather channel.
Also included in the article was an alarming fact that the gulf town is sinking under its own weight, so much that residents in high rise government slum housing may soon have walk in apartments.
The last few chapters contained penciled in diagrams and maps the engineers scribbled on the back pages of the reports while being placed on hold for hours by the Nagin administration.
Officials in Louisiana have downplayed the report saying the huge text was nothing more than a coverup by FEMA, who refused to save the chocolate town when disaster struck.
A government official told residents today in a radio broadcast over WWL The Big 870, "they have nothing to fear but running out of beer," during the next hurricane which was in reference to FEMA's refusal to supply beer to the residents who were stuck in their attics during 95 degree temperatures.
"The government's job is to see to it that poor folks get what they need in times of emergencies and a cold one would certainly been good medicine for folks who had to spend the day fighting off mambo snakes," an aide to the Nagin legacy told reporters.
When asked by a reporter from FOX News, if this whole city of New Orleans quagmire isn't reminiscent of Rome burning while Nero fiddled, the aide screamed back that "It was FEMA, if one recalls, who did not send sufficient drivers in time to load up the buses and now they want to join forces with the Army Corps and befuddle us with a 6,000 page report. We have to move forward and forward is just around the corner."
Meanwhile another report was released today showing the polar ice caps were once a tropical vacation spot for early human-like primates since explorers recently discovered beach chairs, ice buckets and those funny little paper umbrellas that are so popular with tourist.
Nagin's office was looking into those rumors as their phones and computers were sinking in the mud.
6 comments:
For re-electing Mr. "Chocolate City", the inhabitants of New Orleans deserve what they get...
Blackened Mambo snakes. Wow, that has always been a favorite of mine when traveling down New Orleans. I always finish off the meal with a cup of chickory coffee and a half dozen beignets.
As always, thanks for sdtopping by SGT USMC 1ea. Be sure to take a few beignets home with you.
There were also circles and arrows on the back of the reports and a paragraph explaining each one. Then they had to pick up the trash.
Good one Ms! Also OLA--very funny!
If Ray Nagin was "befuddled", it's because he probably doesn't know how to read. At least that's how he comes off sounding to me... but then, who am I to judge? I didn't use those 200 buses to drive people to safety either!
Expertly crafted as always dear lady. Regards...
sung to the 200 bottles of beer song
200 buses to drive..........
Good Morning, Ms. RW! Keep cool today......real cooooool. [backing up, crouching, snapping fingers]
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