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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Ginsberg Shreds Her Robes and Resigns As Justice

Washington D.C.

After Samuel Alito’s smooth 58 to 42 victory in the Senate today, Ruth Bader Ginsburg ripped off her robe, then angrily denounced the admission of, "A racist male who believes in rusty coat hangers for women, bull whips for African-Americans and refused admissions for young gays to the Boy Scouts."

Ginsberg, who was watching the proceedings from the Kennedy Room of The Sunken Car Bar in Bethesda, Maryland, said this was America’s most lamentable moment in the 73 years she has walked the earth.

With a heavy heart Ginsberg walked down the worn red carpet full of cigar scorch marks towards the podium, and with her trademark black dress, silk scarf and tight buns, in her hair, she looked at the defeated crowd with words of that of a woman who once held the court in awe.

"I carefully examined the New Testament and can relate to how grieved the rulers of Israel became when that Jesus of Nazareth guy said he was their new leader," Ginsberg told reporters. "When they saw the course of history changing before their eyes, they renteth their garments, and shall so I."

Alito carried the notorious red states of middle America where values have been spoon fed to them for generations, while the blue states carefully reasoned with their intellect and voted strongly against the New Jersey lawyer.

While hugging the portrait of the first black Jewish president, William Jefferson Clinton and wiping tears from her eyes, Ginsberg vowed she will resign her position as Supreme Court Judge this afternoon.

"I am going to partner up with my son who is struggling in the recording business," Ginsberg said. "His music choices have been magnificent, but for whatever reason, the public hasn’t noticed his talents."

Last week Ginsberg’s son, Allen, signed Janet Reno to a new recording contract after her wildly acclaimed musical debut.

Reno’s blusey rendition of Aritha Franklin’s Respect and Billy Holiday’s, God Bless’ The Child, brought a standing ovation last week on the very stage Ginsberg angrily ripped off her robe and announced her resignation.

In the Billboard charts, Reno's number one hit as of today is Ode To Billy Joe.

Shreds of Ginsberg's robe will be posted on e-bay.

President Bush in a written correspondence to Ginsberg said, "Her jovial laughter and tight hairdo will be missed. Good luck and please wait for about five years before releasing another one of those dreadful New York Times best sellers."

"The time has come and with heavy heart I can only hope to see each and every one of you in the trenches of liberal warfare," Ginsberg said, as she laid down the mike and silently left the stage minus her black robe.

There is no word yet from the White House of another possible replacement.


Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Folks, I don't know why the headline keeps disappearing but here it is

"Ginsberg Shreds Her Robes and Resigns As Justice"

camojack said...

O, but for it to be so...

MargeinMI said...

"...tight buns, in her hair..." LOL!

As for Reno singing the blues, I think Billie's 'Strange Fruit' is her theme song. ;o)

Hawkeye® said...

the Kennedy Room of The Sunken Car Bar... ROFLMAO!

Good stuff Ms RW. Keep it comin'

Best wishes...

Barb said...

When is Allen going to release Janet Reno's latest recording "Light My Fire?"That might loosen Ruthie's tight buns.

Barb said...

Ginsberg reportedly is planning for a fall release of Jan's nezt hot new CD, "You Light Up MY Life" with a doo-wap background done by none other than Dave Koresh and his Heavenly Choir.