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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Cindy Sheehan Arrested by FBI Sting

Washington DC

Police departments all across the land have been using a switch and bait method for years to reel in felons, now the FBI has created a new tool for tracing down left wing dissidents.

The law enforcement game is played by sending phoney party invitations or letters, stating the on-the-run felon has won a million dollar lottery and when the lawbreaker shows up at a makeshift office to collect the money, handcuffs are slapped on.

Cindy Sheehan, a 48 year-old former housewife, formerly from California and formerly a mother of an honorable Army veteran, Casey Sheehan, has been under surveillance by the FBI for five months.

After Sheehan’s arrest at last September’s Quarter Million Ding-Bat March, that drew more left wings than a BuffaloWild Wings Restaurant, the FBI implanted a high tech chip in her foot that would show her location at any given moment.

The costly experiment using a secret 21st century Big Brother sleuth, called Charley Chip, was used to keep the high strung woman in the grasp of federal agents.

The chip was implanted when Sheehan was offered a foot massage by a prisoner, who in fact was a burley FBI agent in drag.

During the comforting 30 minute rub-down, the make believe prisoner consoled Sheehan and his soothing voice and hands soon did the job allowing the chip to be firmly implanted into her right ankle.

Last month the FBI lost all communications with the Sheehan.

Federal officials were at loss to explain her disappearance since there are only two ways the chip could stop working, one is by surgically removing the device.

The second way is to subject the chip to 15 minutes in a microwave, thereby destroying the silicone properties of the device.

The microwave option is painful and authorities placed doubts she even knew the chip had been implanted, but a leak from The New York Times may have clued her in.

An Internet article by a highly honored Urban Legend blogger and frequent guest on the Art Bell Show revealed to journalists at the Times how Bush has been fascinated by government attempts to monitor her actions near the Texas White House.

Meanwhile medical experts feared that Sheehan may have actually gnawed her foot off after reading the Times article exposing a plot to spy on self proclaimed anti-war leaders such as herself.

The poison bait, dubbed the "Magic Christian" by federal agents, was grabbed by Sheehan at President Bush’s State of The Union Address last night when she showed up at the yearly event.

Sheehan entered the event with what she thought to be a hand written invitation by DNC chairperson, Howard Dean.

The letter asked her to honor her presence with a catchy t-shirt message proclaiming the war to be a military debacle and to make sure she sat in the balcony where the cameras could clearly spot her.

Sheehan did in fact attend the political event with a design on her shirt showing Saddam Hussein and John Kerry running hand in hand carrying a sign that said 2,245,000, give or take a million or so.

FBI agents quickly grabbed her and sent her off to a secret internment camp in Oregon where nearly 45,000 black activists are being kept after receiving numerous false invitations, presumably signed by black activist, Dick Gregory.


Beerme said...

What took you so long to start blogging???
You are doing a great job and you're doing it frequently!

Nice stuff.

camojack said...

I got arrested in D.C. for protesting, and all I had was this lousy t-shirt!

What a nit wit...

Maggie said...

You say Cindy got caught with her foot in her mouth?

camojack said...

More like her head up her...but, you know what I mean.

Hawkeye® said...

more left wings than a BuffaloWild Wings Restaurant

Hahahaha! Great line (:D)

Keep up the good work!

Barb said...

I'm afraid sending Sinny to a Black Activist camp with 45,000 black men, may be a great deal like throwing Brer' Rabbit into the Briar patch. Rather than punishment ,Sinny is going to think she has died and gone to heaven.