Settle in, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy your stay here at Shelly's. The pie is great, the coffee pot is always on and soon you will find this to be the best place in town. SOON TO BE AMERICA'S MOST READ BLOG

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

FBI REPLACES CONGRESSIONAL CLEANING STAFF

WASHINGTON–The search undertaken by the FBI last weekend against Louisiana's front running Democratic bribery king, William Jefferson, has lawmakers upset because many feel it was unconstitutional as well as a tad bit uncomfortable.

House Majority Leader John Boener of Ohio told reporters his maid service refused to show up that evening because the new Americans who normally clean offices quickly vacated the area when uniformed men entered the building.

"Congress will somehow speak to this issue of the Justice Department's invasion of the legislative branch. In what form I don't know," Boehner said.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he understood the concerns but felt the maid service was doing a rotten job to begin with so everyone needed to take a deep breath, calm down and go back to doing whatever it was they were doing before the FBI ransacked Jefferson's office.

A source with the FBI said officials could not believe the condition Jefferson's office before they entered the luxuriously appointed three bedroom Washington domicile.

"We had to undertake a decisive move that evening in what we called Operation Cleanup," Gonzales said. "It took nearly three hours to pick up hidden money, desktop computers that were left laying around as well as hard drives that we were sure had dust and old fingerprints on them, so we took them downtown to clean them up for him."

Hillary Clinton D-N.Y. said she was thankful that her office staff had everything clean and in order before the FBI inspection came through.

"Even the box of files under my bed were finally cleaned out and shredded," Clinton said.

"We were actually doing Rep. William Jefferson a favor," Gonzales told reporters, "since he seemed to have lost a subpoena that we issued last summer."

The FBI were looking for known documents as well as money Jefferson had put away after agents recorded his conversations.

"It was amazing because he seemed to have swept the subpoena and much more under the carpet," Gonzales said.

Jefferson still has hopes for his political career and was glad to finally have a bribery charge lodged against him, he told reporters at a national press conference Monday.

"In Louisiana you have to be man enough to take what you can when you can get it or nobody will respect you. Now, truly, I William Jefferson, can be the real first black president."

Jefferson was in the news last fall when Katrina was destroying much of New Orleans he insisted the National Guard call off rescue missions until he had time to go and get things in order at his home.

Jefferson was seen carrying out laptops, foil wrapped bundles and a large metal container he said contained the ashes of his dearly beloved great-great grandmother.

Still the debate about the FBI's Operation Cleanup is brewing up to be a Tempest in the Teapot as Congress is calling for investigation number 3,724.

"I've got to believe at the end of the day it's going to end up across the street at the Supreme Court," Boehner said. "And is it ever a mess over there."

In a written statement John Kerry D-Mass, said he is all in favor of Operation Cleanup and hopes the agents can find his misplaced Naval records that he promised to release.

9 comments:

Nylecoj said...

"In Louisiana you have to be man enough to take what you can when you can get it or nobody will respect you. Now, truly, I William Jefferson, can be the real first black president."
William Jefferson's sure have a lot in comon. Great column.

camojack said...

Too bad they didn't do anything of consequence to William Jefferson Clinton, huh?

MargeinMI said...

Wait....wait....5...4...3...2....1

"I'm against Operation Cleanup," John Kerry.

Maggie said...

I could use a clean-up of any kind at my house.Here I am sitting at the computer while Rome burns, so to speak.Enjoyed the blog today.

Maggie said...

Oh!!! almost forgot,Taylor Rocks.
I was really pulling for Elliot Yamin,my hometown boy(Richmond,Va.)but Taylor Hicks was the next in line then Chris.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Maggie

I know there are a zillion AmId blogs ought there so I, with great regrets, will actually talk about AmId just this once

Taylor is da man--Soul Patrol is on the way.

MargeinMI said...

Good Morning Ms. RW! Hope you have a great day! :o)

SGT USMC 1ea said...

Very original take on the subject. who is this Jon Kerry guy though?

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

SGT USMC 1ea

I would like like to explain that Kerry guy but unless you are aquainted with Grimm's Fairy Tales I don't..........