NUMEROUS VOTING PROBLEMS BEING REPORTED FROM HEAVILY DEMOCRATIC AREAS
CLEVELAND– The old fashioned punch ballot departed and the electronic age brought curses and angst to numerous people in Ohio as today's primary begins the dawn of a new era in voting technology.
The more sophisticated technology was mandated by the federal Help America Vote Act of 2002 after senior Florida voters elected President Bush by mistake, thinking instead they were casting votes for Harry S. Truman.
The touch screen and automatic scanning machines had presented a few problems in trial runs but the manufacture promised all the glitches would be repaired by voting day.
In several heavily Democratic areas of Cleveland reports have came in to RightWing News, Ink of seething voter displeasure and acts of violence towards the machines.
Numerous sites had reports of elderly election workers becoming confused at the computerized scanners causing them to return to their their cars and going back home, leaving the machines inoperable and unprotected.
Winford Furgybiter of Cleveland's West side told reporters he became disoriented from filling in circles with ink so the ballot could be scanned that he passed out and now fears he may have voted for Kenneth Blackwell by mistake.
Blackwell is the ultra-conservative governor nominee on the Republican ticket who looks like an African-American but doesn't hold to the values of the angry left.
On stately east side suburb of Shaker Heights officials said Marc A. Fenster was arrested after he knocked over two voting machines worth $2,700 each in a fit of rage and was charged with disorderly conduct and willful destruction of government property.
Another Democratic voter became angry when he could not find chads laying on the floor after the computer scanned his ballot and called Democratic lawyers who were on standby in numerous locations.
The Most Reverend Jesse Jackson, in a photo opportunity with Jimmy Carter, has ordered a recall of all the machines saying they scare all old people no matter if they are white, rainbow or of color.
Jackson said the machines favor the Republicans but would not tell reporters what he meant by the allegations.
Republican officials received e-mails from Jackson's office claiming the, and we quote "The wachamadinger that you insert into the whachyamacallit part of the computer to make them work are rigged and we want an immediate investigation."
One disgruntled voter who wished to remain anonymous said the scanner only let him insert the ballot into the computer once and he missed the good old days when a person could stuff the ballot boxes as long as he wished.
Reports of voter problems were nonexistent in conservative districts around Ohio.
Akron officials report numerous calls of rioting, looting, cutting off ears and voters attaching electrical wires to their genitals.
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