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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The New Great Wall of California Breaks Ground

As the Immigration Bill grew closer to passage literally thousands, if not millions of illegals were seen heading for the Mexican border as Senate majority leader Bill Frist warned he would soon authorize construction of the Great Wall of California.

Other Republicans, who were just standing around the senate building looking like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming Semi seemed to be afraid of making any decisions as not to offend anybody, somebody or anything.

GOP Sen. Sam Brownback from Kansas on the other hand wanted to throw a National Day of Ice Cream Socials intended to make all Americans realize the illegals were living amongst them and therefore should invite them over for a little cake and ice cream and rub shoulders with their brown neighbors.

"It isn't often we get a chance to show the world that Republicans can be good liberals too," Brownback said before a group of Latino rocket scientist in Denver.
"We need to have an open door policy, yet still keep our own doors locked at night."

Meanwhile Frist was showing his plans for the big wall on a nationally televised news program that was carried on every major network except Telemundo.

The wall, he explained, will be 50 foot tall, and run from San Diego to Brownsville Texas, with about 20 small openings that will upon random occasion be opened from 9 a.m. till 6 p.m.

The idea is to keep them guessing as to which gate will open on which day," Frist said. "Not only will it offer security but it will also provide fun and excitement."

Experts in wall building said it will have an absolute smooth surface that is 20 times slicker than Teflon on the bottom half and a rough surface with sharp pointy things on the top half.

"This will keep suction cup fanatics off the wall," said Bill Oddbody, a research scientist, with the Defense Department.

"Once the wall is completed by the end of summer any illegal that is still hanging around that isn't here to dig potatoes, pull up turnips, mow lawns or do work white men are incapable of, will be forced to swim back home," Frist said.

John Kerry D, Mass, said it will be a blight to all who desire to vacation in exotic places like Del Rio, Texas and if he runs again he will have a better plan.

The wall will be built with silicone steel pieces that resemble Lego's, therefore allowing swift construction.


MargeinMI said...

Sweeeet! I love the lego construction technique and the incorporation of 'sharp pointy things on the top.'

oh, and FIRST!

Barb said...

And Hey!! We can use American kids to build the Lego wall. My grandsons are really good at this,and they can't get after-school jobs ,because the Mexicans have them all.

JAINPHX said...

John Kerry; now there's a job an illegal can do much better

onlineanalyst said...

Behind those random-opening doors, does Frist plan to have a lady or a tiger? We certainly don't want Madame Hillary offering tea and cookies that she has baked herself.

Will the sharp pointy things be the tinfoil hats of our Congresscritters? They don't seem to be picking up the signals being sent out by the people who put them into office.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Whew, good quick responses!

Terry_Jim said...

Great idea, it won't happen till Big Teflon, and the Sharp Pointy Things Promotion Board starts paying for some congressional travel to anyplace BUT Del Rio !

Terry_Jim said...

Say , since LEGO is from Denmark, maybe they could pre print some anti terrorist cartoons on the blocks too!

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Del Rio, one time home of the three gazillion watt echo blasting Mexican music radio station.

It was so powerful your dentures picked up the station for a 50 mile radius

I think the little hideaway would be good for congressmen

camojack said...

Of course, actually building the wall would be considered menial consequently, it will be done by illegal Mexican immigrants.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ms. RightWing, Ink said...


These will be high paying goberment job so they will go to minority and women