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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Removing Bogeyman Added To Patriot Act


With boxing gloves removed the House finally approved the much debated Patriot Act by a thin margin of 280 to 138, just two votes above the number needed to move the bill to President Bush's desk.

White House officials said the President will sign it before tomorrow's deadline preventing both a dreadful collapse of our national security and most important of all a chance to shake a few more liberals from the tree.

Several parts of the Patriot Act were hotly contested, including the provision that allowed FBI officials to work behind library check out desks bestowing them power to examine books taken from the library and to instruct unruly visitors to hush up.

Additional pork was added to the act including a law allowing West Virginia to install billboards of Sen Byrd waiving to Yankees as they cross their borders.

The provision creating the most contention among congressman was the Bogeyman Bill.

Brought to the floor by Harry Reid, D-Nev, the bill will protect children from the lurking terrorist often referred to as Bogeyman, as well as help grownups who find it hard to sleep at night in fear of The Living Dead, The Creature From The Black Lagoon or The Man From Planet X.

"You can talk all day about Al-Qaeda, bin Laden, Iranian nuclear missiles and weapons of mass destruction but if you don't fight off the flesh eating terrorist that crawl through dark, foggy Kentucky swamps or things that live under your beds, then we have done little or nothing for the American people," Reid said.

Ted Kennedy D-Ma, and Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y. threatened the mother of all filibusters if this section was not included in Patriot Act II, so several Republican leaders backed down.

"We must once and for all stop fuzz bunny terrorist and closet monsters," Clinton said. "Then and then only will we be free."

25 comments:

camojack said...

Those patriots should know how to act by now...

MargeinMI said...

Will this bill protect our children (or grownups for that matter) from Ted "THE BLOB" Kennedy, Carl "The Penguin" Levin or John "The Joker" Kerry?

Just call me Shelly said...

Marge
I'm afraid there is no help. We are doomed

camojack
They should but it is spring break

Nylecoj said...

The Bogeyman Bill, I love it!

Just call me Shelly said...

Thanks for checking in nylecoj. I love seeing those numbers roll up like McDee's hamburgers.

Off to bed and praying the bogeyman stays away

camojack said...

Ms. RightWing, Ink:
Spring Break?! It ain't even Spring yet!!!

camojack said...

Kajun:
That's another reason I love Hawaii; the daytime temperature averages in the 70's all year 'round.
(At night it's the 60's...)

Just call me Shelly said...

onlineanalyst

Yes, I got the article (sorry, I am busy setting up an ebay business)

It is usually the same ol-same ol when it comes to ms drugs--they discovered my ms to l ate in life and the drugs will have little or no effect.

All my neuro will say is do you want to take the shots and get sick for no reason.


As for posting, weekends seem like a poor time for the blog provider

camojack said...

"Askinstoo said...
hey guys! love this blog! check mine out!"


THAT'S why so many of us have enabled the "word verification" option...

Just call me Shelly said...

camojack

hey. it helps put numbers on my counter, what am I up to, umm 13.

Anonymous said...

It is physically impossible to remove the bogeyman. We should really stop trying. If Bogeyman removal were accomplished it would be quite difficult to get my 7 year old to behave.

Deus est Semper Fidelis

camojack said...

Oh...

camojack said...

You...

camojack said...

Want...

camojack said...

(Meaningless)...

camojack said...

Numbers...

camojack said...

On...

camojack said...

Your...

camojack said...

Counter???

camojack said...

There's 10 of 'em for ya, then.

MargeinMI said...

Good morning, Ms. RW, Ink. What's the fresh pastry today?

Just call me Shelly said...

camojack

oh, you are such a card

marge

I hope to download a new storay after I get through teaching my Bible study.

Just call me Shelly said...

Oh, how sad. I didn't know your 'puter conked out. Glad to see it is alive and well

camojack said...

I see you deleted the "spambot"...

Just call me Shelly said...

camojack

If he had something to say--good or bad--he could have stayed. But after 3 times, nope==gotta go, as do I. Must finish new post