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Saturday, March 18, 2006

Week-end Rants From The Bunker

In a land far away, way past Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong and the children above average, sits this strange village of potty mouth brats who all walk about as if there very bodies are nothing more than cut-out paper. The name of this village of mythical origins is called South Park. What many do not know is there is a strange connection between the two .

Lake Wobegon, a quaint little community of confused Norwegians who sit around taverns, drink cheap beer and eat way too much lutefisk, gave us this philosophical young man who moved to the Twin Cities and got a job playing folk music on Minnesota Public Radio in the early 70's.

This man, Garrison Keillor, invented The Prairie Home Companion Show and created numerous humorous characters who were celebrated over the years. Keillor said theese imaginary people never understood him because he was a philosopher of sorts, and a person who was just to imaginary for a small town of people who look suspicious towards overly bright people.

For numerous years we laughed, tapped our toes to the music and often put ourselves mentally onto the streets of Wobegon where we were able to walk down and sit on the dock, fish our summer away or put on our skates in the winter and glide across the lake.

Then things changed. Keillor married, moved to Denmark, divorced, came back, resided in New York, then returned to the Twin Cities. Now all these many years later he is just another voice crying in the wilderness of liberal politics. He knows his next meal depends on Minnesota Public Radio who spoon fed him throughout his humorous early days.

Now he is a sour despondent old man who still fills himself from the pockets of tax sponsored radio. To keep his audience, he now rags on conservatives, Christians and the folks who once thought of him as imaginary. All the lesbians fled Lake Wobegon and trucked off to San Francisco because middle America would not accept them much as he imagined they wouldn't like him.

Turn if will you to South Park. A cast of rotten mouth degenerate fourth grade children belly ache about everything a real child that age would never think to say. Over the years they have infected their audiences with garbage. Now Isaac Hayes, the voice of Chef his kissed South Park goodby.

This was his response to Associated Press:
"There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist said.

Was it Christianity that stopped Hayes in his tracks. How about Islam, or Judaism. No it was his shtick that offended him to the depths of his soul.

South Park took aim at Scientology last November upsetting the followers of Hollywood believers with an episode called Trapped in the Closet, that portrayed the crumb cruncher Stan as savior by the Scientology church leaders, while an animated Tom Cruise would not come out of the closet.

It seems as if Hayes was in his comfort zone offending Christian, Jews, Muslims and as many other people as the producer could think up. But when Scientology was thrown in, Hayes ran out.

So where is the similarity between Keillor and Hayes. I guess they both have a schizophrenic value system. Keillor has abandoned his warm, American humor for hatred so to keep his MPR paying audience. Hayes abandoned his rotten humor towards everything so he can keep nothing.

Now on one can order The Gospel of Jesus read by Garrison Keillor. How about Hayes reading the Koran? You connect the dots, this whole mess is confusing me.


onlineanalyst said...

The little house on the prairie heads south? (or something like that?)

Maggie said...'s neither science or tology.What exactly is it and how does one know when he has been offended?

Maggie said...

....and why do I have a little fire hydrant at the bottom of my comments?

Kajun said...

What is MPR?

Kajun said...


That isn't a fire's a garbage can...for deletions, if you change your mind about posting that comment and us blogmeister and meistresses can send an obscene comment there--never to be obseen again.

camojack said...

Here's what the Patriot Post had to say about it:

"TV's raunchy "South Park" crossed one too many lines for one of its own characters recently. The episode in question mocks Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Scientology leaders from the perspective of its fourth-grade main characters. Isaac Hayes, the voice of "Chef" and a Scientologist, has quit the show, saying, "There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins." Friend of The Patriot James Taranto aptly notes, "[A]fter all, it's one thing to mock Jews, Muslims, Mormons, Catholics, Evangelicals, blacks, gays, whites, Mexicans, Asians, Canadians, Frenchmen, people with birth defects, women, transsexuals, Democrats, Republicans, lawyers, cops, cows, people with red hair and freckles, goths, the handicapped and fat kids. But satirizing Scientology—that's just intolerant!"

I still find it amusing that the founder of Scientology (L. Ron Hubbard) was a science fiction writer; so basically, the Scientologists' belief system is science fiction too...

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

I once or twice have watched SP just to see what it is all about. My thought was that I was an adult and could handle the subject matter. How wrong I was.

Fox does not achive much of a higher rating with Family Man and the other cartoon on Sunday night. I see enough mockery of God to last a life time.


MPR is Minnesota Public Radio which is nearly as big as National Public Radio. Dem Minnisowtans sure do like there public radio by jolly.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

and thumbs down on Garrison also. He hates Christian (conservative) but has tapes out reading the Bible. Nothing like money off the things you despise.

Maggie said...

What happened to my little fire hydrants or garbage cans at the bottom of my comments.Now.what did I do? I felt special,distinct,set apart etc.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...


They are still there. I would prove it by deleting you but I could never do that to you.

I use Firefox and sometimes things are visible to me and invisible to Internet explorer users

MargeinMI said...

I too, miss the Lake Woebegone of old. My ex and I used to faithfully tape the monolog each week and listen to them over and over on road trips up north. Methinks he got too full of himself--lost his humbleness and humility which was all the appeal. So sad.

UpNorthLurkin said...

I have one of GK's books and one set of tapes. I too used to enjoy him. I didn't realize he had divorced. Maybe that's what poisoned his disposition?!

Terry_Jim said...

I like the old Woebegone style of humor, too.

I came across Tom Bodett, the 'Motel 6 we'll leave the light on guy' on his commercial radio show several years ago doing the same style of character comedy called "The End of the Road Show" it was recorded in Homer,Alaska.
The show ended a few months after I discovered it, but I did come across a paperback of some of his stories. Tom fleshes out his characters well, and tells great stories of their struggles and triumphs, many of which we can all relate to. Definitly worth looking for next time you get to the library.

Terry_Jim said...

I just googled Bodett
and these days he
does a lot of work for NPR.

But, I noticed in his more recent writings that if he jabs one side of an issue, he softens it with a poke at the other side.
I don't think Keillor does that.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

terry jim

I have all his old books on tape. Love them dearly. When I used to travel all over the west coast as a professional story teller I always took him along plus a bunch of early Garrison.

I always loved Tom's story about buying the new coffee pot because the old one made coffee that tasted like an old boot.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

p.s. glad to see ya here. Stay and have some coffee. It doesn't taste like a boot. It is a little more nuanced--more like...

Nah, actually we use Caribou Coffee

SGT USMC 1ea said...

I seen an article where Tom Cruisentology had a rerun of the anti-hubbard episode killed. I have read a few thousand pages of hubbard's works and can testify he is a nut.

I used to think Weird Al Yankovich was amusing until his recent parodies of Christian songs. He remade "With arms wide open" as "With legs wide open" and "what if God were one of us" as "What if God smoked cannibus" I am sure he has the same talent as before but since I could not bring myself to listen to them I have no idea of their content. He has obviously been hanging around the hollywood types too long and much like Garrison has become, as you have said before, about as funny as a broken hip!

Deus est Semper Fidelis

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