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Saturday, April 22, 2006

Chinese Revolutionize The American Automobile



With countless Americans concerned about the price and availability of gas due to mad dictators, roaming nomad governments and the fear of pristine snow covered caribou lands being exploited, the time has arrived for the engineers to contemplate new ideas for transportation.

Since Henry Ford pushed the first car off the assembly line, gasoline has been the only game in town, causing plants and animals to die an early painful death as they are forced to breath toxic exhaust fumes and now humans are faced with extinction because of greenhouse gas.

Elderly stockholders who never gave up on the Desoto line may now be surprised to find out a Chinese company has purchased both the name and remaining machinery molds of the long defunct Chrysler cast away.

Taizhou Wanbang Industrial & Trading Co., Ltd. formerly known as Taizhou Guotai Bearing Co., Ltd. and Wenling Pharmaceutical Factory, maker of medicinal ball bearings and fancy electric motorcycles has announced plans to introduce to American motorist the first practical and affordable electric car.

Chinese industrialist who spent many years trying to resize Chevrolet Impalas, threw in the towel when Dale Ernhardt Jr refused to sign onto a racing contract with the Chinese Monkey, a car which looked surprisingly like his number 8 NASCAR Chevy.

Now several years later Taizhou Wanbang has redesigned an American classic, the 1958 Desoto, with a technological breakthrough in electric power.

Proffesor Wen Chi got the idea when visiting Lehmans, an Amish hardware store in Kidron, Ohio several years ago.

When Chi picked up an Amish radio and noticed the power came from a wind-up handle on the side, he thought the idea could be conveyed to an automobile.

The unveiling of the
new 2006 Desoto took place yesterday as translators for Taizhou Wanbang told audiences that the name Desoto in Chinese means, "pedal hard yu foo" so the name and technology have been married into one attractive package.

Chi told reporters the plastic Desoto will be powered much like a toy pedal car. The consumer will pedal the car for the first mile then the batteries will power it the next ten, unless you turn on the wipers or heaters in which case you must pedal ten to get one mile.

The car may be purchased with an optinal auxiliary motor but you have to feed and cloth him and also register him with the Naturalization Department.

The Pedal Hard Yu Foo Desoto will start at two-thousand dollars and will be available at most Wal-Mart and Dollar Tree Stores by July.

11 comments:

SGT USMC 1ea said...

Pedal hard yu foo
That is too cute!

seems like a good concept though

Barb said...

Have you been sneaking into the hospital again?If you have send me some of the meds they are giving you . I LUIP. Funny Stuff!!
Will the Desoto or 'pedal hard yu foo' be the size of the Photo or a little smaller?
Wait until the Doctors hear about this. It will be an excellent cardio-vascular workout!

Barb said...

Happy Third Day of your Birthday Month

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

barb

If they profess to have purchased all the dyes and machinery (no hemi's though) I guess it will be full size. The picture is a rough prototype, the real one will have all its hub caps and painted as bright as one can imagine plastic to be.

One problem though is reverse, if you pedal backwards you get electrocuted.

Kajun said...

What appears to be taillights on the Desoto, are actually solar cells [available only on high-speed pursuit vehicles...not white Ford Bronco chasers].

camojack said...

Not only that, but due to a technological breakthough, these cars are the first true rice burners...a new Chinese revolution in biodiesel.

onlineanalyst said...

Man oh day, those Chinese spend a lot of their energy "revolutionizing". In this case though, they're apt to make a fortune, cookie!

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

At least I haven't riled up any Amishmen

MargeinMI said...

Do they also come with the standardized Fred Flinstone brakes?

Maggie said...

Pedal Hard Yu Foo.......stop it....

Hawkeye® said...

Taizhou Wanbang Industrial & Trading Co.???

TWIT for short?