Settle in, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy your stay here at Shelly's. The pie is great, the coffee pot is always on and soon you will find this to be the best place in town. SOON TO BE AMERICA'S MOST READ BLOG

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Oprah Pays A Suprise Visit To CNN's Interview With Cynthia McKinney

After a March 29th altercation with a White House policeman, Rep. Cynthia McKinney, D-Georgia, has traveled a road, as she described, "Full of mambo snakes, wild orangutans and half-crazed white elephants."

In a lengthy interview with Wolfe Blitzer, McKinney said the incident took place so fast she had no time to think because all she had on her mind was suing her hairdresser for the mess he made.

"The blooming idiot put some kind of white people's Wal-Mart shampoo on my hair, now I can't do a thing with it." McKinney said, wiping tears from her eyes.

McKinney, who has a black belt in Vita Saana, an African martial arts, known for its deadly swift action, told Blitzer that she could have dropped that white cracker- head policeman and the whole staff in 30 seconds.

Vita Saana is an urban street fighting art that is often used to kick in the doors of pizza delivering white-boys, who young thugs see as a threat to the neighborhoods by causing black children to become fat and passive.

"I studied under Mwanzo Mwalimu Umeme Mpingo, the master of Vita Saana and he warned me never to take my eyes off a whitey po-po and look at me now, up to my ears in legal do-do and a bad hair day to boot," McKinney said as her sobs soon became out of control.

Just as the producers were ready to take a wrap on the broadcast, Oprah Winfrey came on stage and sat down next to McKinney, put her head upon her bosom and told her everything was going to be just fine just let the tears of anger and repression flow.

"What you see here is the tears of hundreds of years of white repression, slavery and sharks that followed the ships of horror," Winfrey said.

The next 20 minutes of Blitzer's show was women to woman talk and relating, and he never got a word in edgewise as Oprah promised to fly McKinney back to Chicago and get her hair fixed at her private salon, Mr. Swishey's House of Relaxer.

"Whatever has been done can be undone," Oprah said, referring to her dramatic weight loss and regaining of the pounds, "And girlfriend we got to get rid of that Scottish white-boy name."

After the show McKinney was whisked away in Oprah's private limo.

Blitzer lamented the now destroyed interview and only wished that Larry King got the interview instead.

"Hell boy, that woman just cost me big dollars in a lawsuit that would have made me famous," McKinney's attorney James Myart said.


onlineanalyst said...

That martial arts strategy of hers --Bok Choy, is it?-- just keeps Cynthia black and sassy, I see. With "better hair" models like Kerry and Edwards setting the pace, I could see why Ms McKinney, already confused by that plaid name, was a woman in a hurry. It's difficult to remember to put on your identifying badge when you have a country to run!

boberin said...

Very funny Ms!

Beerme said...

I'm surprised Ms. McKinney hasn't changed her "slave name" to some name with lots of consonants and maybe ending with an X or a Bey or something.

Still, she be them white po-pos like Oprah on a biscuit!

Beerme said...

Oops, she be ON them...

review before posting, reveiw before posting, rveiwe bfo po po...

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

All I know about Vita Saana is what I read on the Internet. It sounded like a good thing for a crazy woman.

Did she write Diary of a Mad Black Woman?

mig said...

Sharks that followed the ships of horror. heh heh. Excellent.

JAINPHX said...

Ya know if she would have assualted her hair dresser,not a jury in the world would convict her.

camojack said...

Maybe Oprah can hook her up with a fashion consultant...that girl needs help!

adib a. said...

Vita Saana Martial is not racist organization. It's origin began and still flourishes in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.We of Vita Saana take this misrepresentation of the human growth and develpomemt of Americans with African origins very seriously. We respect and align ourselves with all indepent thinkers in the human family. We will address this misrepresentation of the principals and the code of conduct in Vita Saana soon.

Umwalimu Adib of Vita Saana

fereski33 said...

as a teacher of martial science and a student in the Vita Saana art
,i see something wrong with this lady,simply because afrikan arts DONT HAVE BLACK BELTS,and the teacher Mwanzo instructs professionals in policing across the country,and the elderly. so to the writer of this story-did you ask the urban-thug,who trained them?,and what style of VitaSaana did they use oh-great-professor of URBAN-THUGology!!!. so maybe the police,and pizza-delivery boys need training by Mwanzo?. but ms. McKinney Mwanzo DONT GIVE OUT BLACK BELTS!!.. Rev.Dr.E.M.Cousins

Dr. Jamala Maisha said...

If this posting was done in the spirit of humor, please be advised that 30 years of youth anti-violence education has now been slandered. WHY WAS THE Vita Saana Organization chosen to be made a fool of? Definitely this sleeping giant has now been awakened. This is how so many racist mass murders have taken place based on the insensitive comments of cowards who hide behind a keyboard. With the power of the pen comes the responsibility of being just. The Holocaust started with written lies and now youth members of Vita Saana are being put at risk. What if a young student is confronted by one of your readers? I do believe that somehow Rep. Mckinney may know of VS or how could you have made such an association? Or do you just make things up to make yourself feel important. The AFrikan Discline Sciences have existed before written history. As a culture keeper, I have dedicated my like to helping youth rediscover their sovereignty in developing self-control. Vita Saana is a real entity and would appreciate very much for you to clear our name of any knowledge or association with Rep. McKinney.

Listed below is a copy of the letter that has been sent to the office of Representative McKinney as an inquiry in regard to her inappropriate statements about the Vita Saana Afrikan Cultural Arts Society on CNN Wolfe Blitzer Show. Rep. McKinney has never been a member of this organization and now has caused great damage to the historical reputation and credibility of this prestigious community service group. We do not issue "Black Belts!"

Salutations Rep. McKinney:

And I thought I was going to have a quiet evening tonight... Then the phone rang and it was my instructor Mwanzo Mwalimu Mpingo. Well here it goes.. As the third highest ranking member of Vita Saana, the responsibility falls to me to enlist my 30 years experience as a youth crisis mediator. We of Vita Saana have the highest respect for the men and women who risk their lives every day to keep us safe. In fact we work hand in hand with many law enforcement agencies around the world.

I have assured Mwanzo that I believe that your office will make every effort to correct the inconsistancies noted in your CNN interview that made our members look like ignorant mindless individuals who have no respect for the suffering of our ancestors. Therefore we are requesting an meeting with you so that we may understand why you feel you you are an intergral part of our organization.

Twenty five years ago Vita Saana saved my life from my crazed ex-husband. I became the first and only female Mwalimu for 10 years with the Vita Saana Afrikan Fighting Arts Of Philadelphia. Sadly Ms. Winfrey and the Capital City Police have been placed in the middle of a martial arts delusion. Will you help us retain the opportunity to rebuttal on an Oprah or CNN show? Vita Saana is a cultural organization that does specialize in combative sciences and not racial supremacy! We have the highest of respect for law enforcement. My mother was Black but my Father was Jewish. Vita Saana Mwalimu's are notable specialists in the Afrikan discipline sciences but we cannot "beat up 50 people in 30 seconds".

I have two gold medals in addition to 1500 trophies in internaitonal competition. In fact I am still competing and represent the Afrikan Fighting arts with individuals half my age... This was the very reason I published my journals to tell the facts concerning being a member of a historical cultural group that stands for justice. I do not go around "kicking in doors" or beating up "pizza delivery people". I mean hell I feel that pizza is one of the four basic food groups! This is not helping my efforts to stop youth gang violence and I do not refer to law enforcement as the "po po".

I mean we are trying to end racism in this country and behavior such as this only goes to show our youth that we as adults are more "childish" than they are.

Dr. Mwalimu Jamala Maisha
Governing Council - Vita Saana

diana diana said...

I trained under Askari Mwalimu Jamala Maisha for over a year, and for two very powerful days with Mwanzo Mwalimu Umeme Mpingo (JC). I also have never hear any mention of any "Black Belt." I had obtained a Brown Belt in Tae over 30 years ago and what they teach it is nothing like the traditional martial arts. They teach respect and defense and new moves, without the yelling and kicking. I have no idea what Ms. Mckinney was making reference to. Should I assume that this was a total misprint, or misunderstanding? I am behind Mwanzo.DiAna DiAna, Columbia, SC

Kazana Kweli said...

I am too a Vita Saana Assistant instructor, and how horrible of this woman to associate our name with her "niggerish" antics. For whatever reason she thought that bringing our name into this is ludicrous. I am a dear and close student of Dr. Mwalimu Jamala Maisha and a follower of Mwanzo Mwalimu Umeme Mpingo (JC), I do not wish to be associated with such foolish tactics as kicking down pizza doors and what not, trust me we do a hellva lot more than that, in a more respectful manner.

Kazana Kweli

Kazana Kweli said...

I am too a Vita Saana Assistant instructor, and how horrible of this woman to associate our name with her "niggerish" antics. For whatever reason she thought that bringing our name into this is ludicrous. I am a dear and close student of Dr. Mwalimu Jamala Maisha and a follower of Mwanzo Mwalimu Umeme Mpingo (JC), I do not wish to be associated with such foolish tactics as kicking down pizza doors and what not, trust me we do a hellva lot more than that, in a more respectful manner.

Kazana Kweli

L E Colston II said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
L E Colston II said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
L E Colston II said...

the Web Address to the Transcript was partially chopped off by the sit so I am going to break it up into pieces so those who would like to read what actually happened for themselves:

L E Colston II said...

Dear Ms. Wrong-wing,

"All I know about Vita Saana is what I read on the Internet..." (that is your quote by the way.)

First and fore most allow me to refute the pure ignorance posted in this upsurd mockery of an article with some hard FACTS. I too am a student of Vita Saana and have been for nearly eight years now studying directly under Mwanzo Mwalimu Umeme Mpingo (J.C.). At first I was appalled by the complete and utter MISINFORMATION and blatant ignorant discrimination about V.S. (Vita Saana) and am quite disgusted with your disregard for a Non-Profit Anti-Violence Martial Sciences Organization dedicated to the advancement of urban communities and people everywhere. I could write a lengthy response with my opinion but I am a man of logic and choose to base my arguments off of FACTS and research. So allow me to begin.

Firstly, for those that are interested here is the actually link to CNN.COM with the official transcript of the Interview with Wolf Blitzer and Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney Aired April 3, 2006 - 17:00 ET.

You will clearly find the actual interview to completely disprove and dispel any and all of the claims made in the Blog posted by Ms. Right-Wing, Ink. The link of the transcript from CNN.COM is provided below.

For those that want to get right to the meat of the interview scroll down about a quarter of the way into the interview to get to Congresswoman McKinney's interview.

I'll have to admit the interview was quite riveting. What I found most interesting is that Vita Saana School of African Martial Arts was not named ANYWHERE in the interview.



Also, and this is really going to crack you up. Oprah was no where to be found (GASP!!!) any where in the entire interview. As a matter of fact, OPRAH WAS NOT MENTIONED EITHER.

Hmmm, now isn't that interesting.

Now let’s really dissect this article and get to the facts of what probably happened.

Ms. Right-Wing, Ink said... the author of this farcical concoction
"All I know about Vita Saana is what I read on the Internet..."

"It sounded like a good thing for a crazy woman."

Here's how things really went down. A middle-aged, post menopausal, homely white woman (still single or divorced hence the "Ms." in her user name) decided she was bored and wanted to add her narcissistic "two cents" to the political "hot topic" that is Congresswoman Cynthia McKinny and her confrontation with a Washington D.C Law Enforcement Officer. She has an idea to create a blog that can set free her "Inner Klans-man" and says to her self "Golly, wouldn't it be cool if Congresswoman knew some kind of African Kung-Fu... and then... Oprah can come invite her to her in a private Limo to her own private Salon!"

So, you then used the wonderful resource that is the World Wide Web and Googled "African Martial Arts" and the Non-Profit Anti-Violence organization Vita Saana popped up on your screen and you decided. "Wow, this sounds cool enough." Then you cut and paste Mwanzo's name (probably because you were too lazy to type out the whole thing manually) and meticulous crafted your fable on how the interview went between Congresswoman McKinney and Wolf Blitzer if it was "up to you".

-Am I close enough Ms. Right-Wing Ink?

Again, let me direct those reading this to the actual transcript on CNN.COM (I broke up the link so it will fit on the blog:

So now that I have shown your LOYAL fellow idiot believers just how you maliciously lied to innocent readers who believe in you how are you going to maintain your loyal readers in your bold statement..."SOON TO BE AMERICA'S MOST READ BLOG"

Why would Americans read it if we have to figure out whether or not you are lying to us again. Has anyone besides me ever heard the story of "The Little Blogger who Cried Wolf Blitzer?"

Anyways, thank you for the free promotion of V.S. (you know what they say; "There's no such thing as bad press." You probably inadvertently made some folks research V.S and they could see for themselves that V.S. is an organization dedicated to serving communities across the country and around the world.

But hey, as much fun as this was (and it was DEFINATELY my laugh for the day utterly decimating the validity and character of an ignorant story teller) I must take leave of this God awful site because as a Student and Practitioner of V.S. it is a STRICT part of our moral code not to be IDIOTS!!!!! So, i am certain reading your blog killed a couple of brain cells and I will have to answer to my instructor. But you know was worth it. Thanks for the laugh. Ciao.

Lee Colston II

P.S. – "All I know about Vita Saana is what I read on the Internet..." By the way, Vita Saana doesn’t use “black belts”. Get your facts straight, better yet, go out on a date. Obviously, you have WAAAAAAY to much free time on your hands. Ms. Right-Wing, Ink or Shelly (if that’s even your real name, lol) If you can spare some time and are in the Philadelphia area; stop by the school for a free lesson (my treat!)

For more TRUE information about Vita Saana African Martial Arts and Sciences please call us directly at (215) 414-7905 to learn about our many self-defense classes and children’s programs.

SGT USMC 1ea said...

Satire of VS is obviously not tolerated so I offer this salutory apology:
[To the tune of La Vita Loca]
L e'll push and pull you down livin' la vita Saana!

L e will wear you out, livin' la vita Saana.

L e'll write elitist e-mails puttin' you down, livin' la vita saana!

Mr.Colton...You were a rude idiot and are in so much Troubllllllle!

Dr. Mwalimu Jamala Maisha,
While I have studied a dozen martial arts forms, in each I have denied the forms of eastern mysticism. I believe this is truly a salient point and hope you do the same.

I thank you for your efforts to end racial divides and educate youth. I can assure you that the vast staff at Shelly's Cafe meant no slander to your organization and was merely injecting some humor into a satirical story. The piece was satire pure and simple and we offer our sincere apologies that you were inadvertantly aligned with an obviously race baiting politician due to your being a prominent martial sciences organization who happens to be primarily African in origin. As the transcripts show there is no truth to this satiracal story... it is just that-a story.

As a person of American (read mixed ethnicity) blood and family I am thankful that you addressed this issue. I would be glad to share the field of honor with you for an honorable sparring match if I am ever in the Philly area.

Deus est Semper Fidelis

Dr. Mwalimu Jamala Maisha said...

Okay..... Now you are right back to square one.... The exact thing that started this whole episode in the first place.... Ye old “honorable dual”.... Isn’t that what happen with the original incident? “I won’t wear the identification badge! Yes you will wear the badge! etc. etc. etc.

My name was not attached to the article. My instructor Mwanzo JC was the one who was the brunt of a slanderous and spiteful view of Afrikan culture disguised as a joke. I need no apology. I was insulted though but if I accepted and pursued every offer to meet on a “honorable field of competition” then I would not have time to enjoy real humor.... The kind that keeps you smiling for the rest of the day. Vita Saana is my family.... The VS Brothers raised my sons into manhood and gave me a sense of womanhood not to ever sell myself short.

Please reread my comment in regard to “competition”. I said I compete “with” not “against” individuals half my age. I am sensing “hostility” rooted from the past. The tournament scene was the only venue in the States beginning in the late 70's where Mwanzo could genuinely introduce the VS system. A time when “safety gear” was as obscure as the “cell phone”. A time when if you got hit meant you blocked with your face. All you said was “good technique”, wiped off the blood and kept going... This was where Mwanzo JC and VS members spent decades earning validation. Overcoming terms like Afrikan Kung Fu and Black Karate. In addition to “Sparring” VS dominated weapons, forms, self-defense and musical. This is my favorite since I utilize actual drummers for my presentations. I mean people have accepted Capoeira but still have no clue about the Afrkian martial sciences. The fundamentals of Capoeira came from the country of Angola under the reign of Queen/General Nzinga. (Hence the word - ginga) Bottom line Afrikan history has been adjusted to fit the acceptable concepts of society. According to the most recent HBO educational special, “If the fable sounds better than the truth then the fable becomes fact.” Explorers had to portray Afrikans as heathen who needed to be “saved” which would justify taking over their country. You know the same “old story” with the Native American, the Hawaiian, the Middle East and any one who different from the status quo. No wonder China built that wall and the Japanese didn’t want to be friends.

Here are some historical facts to chew on..... ( Sources references on request) Imhotep was a mathematician who designed the first pyramid and was not THE MUMMY... There is no such person as Tarzan... One of the Chinese Venerated Immortals was Afrikan....And there is a Japanese proverb that reads, “In order to be a Samuari one must have a bit of Black Blood”. This is how I raise the self-esteem of those young people who have lost faith in society and have fallen into the abyss of violent ways. I share with them information that they descended from Kings and Queens. I do not share negative “stories” that degrade other human beings and call it humor.

The Afrkian traditions like many others venerate the teachings of their elders. And I guess the age 52 qualifies me as an “elder in training”. Just like in the movies - at my Mwalimu status my students wouldn’t allow me to “step out there and avenge the honor of the system - LOL! One of my favorite “stories” is the one about the “Signifying Monkey”. It has been presented many ways (Rudy Ray Moore - Historical Black Comedian) but if ever you do get the opportunity to meet me may if be during one of my youth anti-violence workshops when I present this “story”. But I will share the morale... “The deadliest weapon in the world is a mouth (or in this case a “Blog”) It can defend someone, hurt someone or get us all killed.” One never knows who sits at the button and can destroy humanity because of what was said. In closing, this experience has been one for the books... So I will file all of this knowledge away and go and order a “pizza”.... Gyneme - (An “adinkra symbol from the Ashanti tribe which means “Fear Nothing except the Creator”!

Dr. Mwalimu Jamala Maisha
Governing Council - Vita Saana

SGT USMC 1ea said...

Dr. Mwalimu Jamala Maisha,
My apologies Mwalimu. I was not challenging you, merely offering to share your field of honor and no violence was intended. I respect you as an elder. I knew niether your age nor status so my offer i hope is not seen as a threat but as a sign of respect. I will further redirect the apology to Mwanzo JC since he seems to be the offended party. I wear no badges now and simply wish to assuage your proper indignation at the improper use of your martial societies name.