After a March 29th altercation with a White House policeman, Rep. Cynthia McKinney, D-Georgia, has traveled a road, as she described, "Full of mambo snakes, wild orangutans and half-crazed white elephants."
In a lengthy interview with Wolfe Blitzer, McKinney said the incident took place so fast she had no time to think because all she had on her mind was suing her hairdresser for the mess he made.
"The blooming idiot put some kind of white people's Wal-Mart shampoo on my hair, now I can't do a thing with it." McKinney said, wiping tears from her eyes.
McKinney, who has a black belt in Vita Saana, an African martial arts, known for its deadly swift action, told Blitzer that she could have dropped that white cracker- head policeman and the whole staff in 30 seconds.
Vita Saana is an urban street fighting art that is often used to kick in the doors of pizza delivering white-boys, who young thugs see as a threat to the neighborhoods by causing black children to become fat and passive.
"I studied under Mwanzo Mwalimu Umeme Mpingo, the master of Vita Saana and he warned me never to take my eyes off a whitey po-po and look at me now, up to my ears in legal do-do and a bad hair day to boot," McKinney said as her sobs soon became out of control.
Just as the producers were ready to take a wrap on the broadcast, Oprah Winfrey came on stage and sat down next to McKinney, put her head upon her bosom and told her everything was going to be just fine just let the tears of anger and repression flow.
"What you see here is the tears of hundreds of years of white repression, slavery and sharks that followed the ships of horror," Winfrey said.
The next 20 minutes of Blitzer's show was women to woman talk and relating, and he never got a word in edgewise as Oprah promised to fly McKinney back to Chicago and get her hair fixed at her private salon, Mr. Swishey's House of Relaxer.
"Whatever has been done can be undone," Oprah said, referring to her dramatic weight loss and regaining of the pounds, "And girlfriend we got to get rid of that Scottish white-boy name."
After the show McKinney was whisked away in Oprah's private limo.
Blitzer lamented the now destroyed interview and only wished that Larry King got the interview instead.
"Hell boy, that woman just cost me big dollars in a lawsuit that would have made me famous," McKinney's attorney James Myart said.
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