Settle in, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy your stay here at Shelly's. The pie is great, the coffee pot is always on and soon you will find this to be the best place in town. SOON TO BE AMERICA'S MOST READ BLOG

Friday, April 21, 2006

A Reply To An Angry Group

Today I received an e-mail from an upset reader from the Cynthia and Oprah column. Obviously I upset a few followers of a black martial arts group [Vita Saana] who refused to see the humor involved in satire. One can go back and read the many other e-mails in the article.

My reply to the following gentleman is first and foremost, I no more hate your martial arts than I do Karate. I too take a martial arts course, not for defense but to stretch my muscles that no longer work as they were created to. It was all done in jest to emphasize the ridiculous antics of Cynthia (oh, so long past now).

To you and your friends, here is your 5 minutes of fame and please, please, learn to understand satire and laughter–it is sooo good for the heart. I don't need letters of angst over Vita Saana.


Be happy, this is a first for me, who has been in the newsprint business for ages, to go back and apologize for satire. Not for Cynthia, but for Vita Saana.

Hey, if it keeps kids from kicking in the doors, I am all for it. Two thumbs up!


Dear Ms. Wrong-wing,

"All I know about Vita Saana is what I read on the Internet..." (that is your quote by the way.)

First and fore most allow me to refute the pure ignorance posted in this upsurd mockery of an article with some hard FACTS. I too am a student of Vita Saana and have been for nearly eight years now studying directly under Mwanzo Mwalimu Umeme Mpingo (J.C.). At first I was appalled by the complete and utter MISINFORMATION and blatant ignorant discrimination about V.S. (Vita Saana) and am quite disgusted with your disregard for a Non-Profit Anti-Violence Martial Sciences Organization dedicated to the advancement of urban communities and people everywhere. I could write a lengthy response with my opinion but I am a man of logic and choose to base my arguments off of FACTS and research. So allow me to begin.

Firstly, for those that are interested here is the actually link to CNN.COM with the official transcript of the Interview with Wolf Blitzer and Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney Aired April 3, 2006 - 17:00 ET.

You will clearly find the actual interview to completely disprove and dispel any and all of the claims made in the Blog posted by Ms. Right-Wing, Ink. The link of the transcript from CNN.COM is provided below.

For those that want to get right to the meat of the interview scroll down about a quarter of the way into the interview to get to Congresswoman McKinney's interview.

I'll have to admit the interview was quite riveting. What I found most interesting is that Vita Saana School of African Martial Arts was not named ANYWHERE in the interview.



Also, and this is really going to crack you up. Oprah was no where to be found (GASP!!!) any where in the entire interview. As a matter of fact, OPRAH WAS NOT MENTIONED EITHER.

Hmmm, now isn't that interesting.

Now let’s really dissect this article and get to the facts of what probably happened.

Ms. Right-Wing, Ink said... the author of this farcical concoction
"All I know about Vita Saana is what I read on the Internet..."

"It sounded like a good thing for a crazy woman."

Here's how things really went down. A middle-aged, post menopausal, homely white woman (still single or divorced hence the "Ms." in her user name) decided she was bored and wanted to add her narcissistic "two cents" to the political "hot topic" that is Congresswoman Cynthia McKinny and her confrontation with a Washington D.C Law Enforcement Officer. She has an idea to create a blog that can set free her "Inner Klans-man" and says to her self "Golly, wouldn't it be cool if Congresswoman knew some kind of African Kung-Fu... and then... Oprah can come invite her to her in a private Limo to her own private Salon!"

So, you then used the wonderful resource that is the World Wide Web and Googled "African Martial Arts" and the Non-Profit Anti-Violence organization Vita Saana popped up on your screen and you decided. "Wow, this sounds cool enough." Then you cut and paste Mwanzo's name (probably because you were too lazy to type out the whole thing manually) and meticulous crafted your fable on how the interview went between Congresswoman McKinney and Wolf Blitzer if it was "up to you".

-Am I close enough Ms. Right-Wing Ink?

Again, let me direct those reading this to the actual transcript on CNN.COM (I broke up the link so it will fit on the blog:

So now that I have shown your LOYAL fellow idiot believers just how you maliciously lied to innocent readers who believe in you how are you going to maintain your loyal readers in your bold statement..."SOON TO BE AMERICA'S MOST READ BLOG"

Why would Americans read it if we have to figure out whether or not you are lying to us again. Has anyone besides me ever heard the story of "The Little Blogger who Cried Wolf Blitzer?"

Anyways, thank you for the free promotion of V.S. (you know what they say; "There's no such thing as bad press." You probably inadvertently made some folks research V.S and they could see for themselves that V.S. is an organization dedicated to serving communities across the country and around the world.

But hey, as much fun as this was (and it was DEFINATELY my laugh for the day utterly decimating the validity and character of an ignorant story teller) I must take leave of this God awful site because as a Student and Practitioner of V.S. it is a STRICT part of our moral code not to be IDIOTS!!!!! So, i am certain reading your blog killed a couple of brain cells and I will have to answer to my instructor. But you know was worth it. Thanks for the laugh. Ciao.

Lee Colston II

P.S. – "All I know about Vita Saana is what I read on the Internet..." By the way, Vita Saana doesn’t use “black belts”. Get your facts straight, better yet, go out on a date. Obviously, you have WAAAAAAY to much free time on your hands. Ms. Right-Wing, Ink or Shelly (if that’s even your real name, lol) If you can spare some time and are in the Philadelphia area; stop by the school for a free lesson (my treat!)

For more TRUE information about Vita Saana African Martial Arts and Sciences please call us directly at (215) 414-7905 to learn about our many self-defense classes and children’s programs.


UpNorthLurkin said...

Uff da! I guess he told you huh?! It's always best to just let 'em babble on and on....then you don't have to waste time making them look a fool, they do it to themselves. I guess satire is lost on a whole segment of our society.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

There are more letters and may I add I had to go into the archives to find them. I guess he knew I did not return to old stories thus he had to e-mail me.

A middle-aged, post menopausal, homely white woman is the author of what truly may be America's number one blog. He-he.

I gotta go find a white man to satirize and not a Broken Back Hills man neither

Equaly, there as many stupid white men and women to kick around also

boberin said...

Wow! Congratulations!
If anyone spends enough time to write something this involved it means you really hit a nerve somewhere. You have surely "arrived" (not that you weren't here to begin with...)

onlineanalyst said...

Whoa, Grasshopper! Humor must be in short supply at the VS headquarters. It must be "that time of the month" for them. LOL

SGT USMC 1ea said...

Non-Profit Anti-Violence Martial Sciences Organization

Wow "anti-violence" and "martial" at the same time! Perhaps we can get him a dictionary.

because as a Student and Practitioner of V.S. it is a STRICT part of our moral code not to be IDIOTS!!!!!
Really need to work a little harder on keeping that strict moral code. I don't think he quite has the hang of it yet! Could we define Idiocy as deriving some perverted pleasure from denigrating somebodies age, sex, looks, race, and marital status! How discriminatory and elitist can you get?

You still Rock Ms RW.

Deus est Semper Fidelis

SGT USMC 1ea said...

Perhaps you could start an anti-Visa Slaanader web page and attract a huge audience of vindictive anti-violence martial weenies! Don't worry they won't hurt you.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...


I think the funniest part is he believed the article about Cynthia and Oprah--so much that he checked the CNN transcripts. I must be getting rather good at this (as if this was new for me) that he couldn't tell the difference between real and satire.

And the next time I am in Philly (not) I will go for my free lesson.

SGT USMC 1ea said...

As a member of the vast editorial staff of Shelly's Cafe I have tendered an apology to the group on the appropriate thread. My comments on this thread were in reaction to only Mr. Corstons remarks that you posted and I apologize for that last one(9:51). Most of the remarks on the original thread were civil and well written. I will try not to judge the whole group by the rogue members.

Jesu est Semper Fidelis

SGT USMC 1ea said...

If you wish to disable comments on old posts to avoid spamming etc...
1. Go to the red "B" in the upper left hand corner of your blog
2. Go to the posting tab
3. Select edit posts
4. Select the post you wish to modify
5. At the bottom left of the editing box is a "post and comment options" line to click
6. Choose "no" to the "allow new comments"

MargeinMI said...

Darn it, I have to agree with boberin: You have ARRIVED! You are now officially part of the VRWC. Rock ON!!!!!


Maggie said...

....and for the religeous we have Judo for Jesus and Karate for Christ.

Maggie said...

BTW......Happy Birthday (belatedly)
Just look at this as an early birthday wish for 07.

Kajun said...

The Ms stands for Multiple Sclerosis, idjit!

camojack said...

Feeding the trolls? Nay, devoting a post to one of 'em?!

Like upnorthlurkin said:
Uff da!!!

I'm with what SGT USMC 1ea said, I am all for disabling comments on older posts. At present, they're disabled on all of my posts, because of trolls, in fact.

eL said...

the original post wasn't satire. it was poorly written and humorless. aside from it being a poor attempt at humor and satire, mwanzo umeme mpingo maharibi's name (and VS, for that matter) should have never been mentioned in your display of ignorance.

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