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Monday, April 10, 2006

Ginsberg Declares War On Death And Conservatives

LINCOLN, Neb. (RWNI) U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg launched an attack against conservative leaders in Congress to defend so-called "activist judges"

Speaking before a crowd of University of Nebraska college students, Ginsberg said conservative bullies who want to clean up the court will likely not see it come to fruition, if history is any indication.

Ginsberg began the evening by mounting an attack against the deposed House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, since bringing up any current conservative leaders could cause a firestorm of criticism and congressional retaliation.

"I learned long time ago that kicking a dead dog will keep you from getting bit," Ginsberg said.

Her comments referred to the fact that Delay was serious about allowing Terri Schiavo, the supposed brain dead wife of a blundering idiot, to live.

At the moment of Schiavo's legalized murder, conservatives said the time had come to run vermin and evil spirits out of the court, which now has been set in motion with the recent nomination of John Roberts and Samuel Alito.

President Bush had the luxury of nominating two Supreme Court judges, because age and death made space for new blood in the nations top judiciary.

"We have constructed a new chamber equipped with vitamin drinks, oxygen inhalers and built in automated external defibrillators so the remaining judges with any common sense left can make it another few years," Ginsberg told the now dumbfounded students.

Well into the boring three hour speech, Ginsberg told the students that liberal judgeship is a lot like football, or to the younger sport fans, soccer--when the sinister conservative team kicks the ball, we stop it.

"A simple truth has helped to spare our old federal judiciary from onslaughts of our liberal character: It is easier to block enactment of a bill than to get a bill enacted," Ginsburg said. "In other words if we don't like the bill, then we overstep our boundary and search out previously unknown facts of European law."

As Ginsberg spoke, she stopped several times in order to tighten up her hair which kept falling from her strategically crafted bun, creating a comic relief in an otherwise horrifically boring speech.

As the evening painfully wore on her inner fears became more apparent when she mentioned that America has forgotten many of the old guards of the Supreme Court such as herself.

"Ask anybody who Steven Breyer is and likely you will get a shrug of the shoulders," Ginsber said.

The evening ended with a clarion call to action for America's youth, whom the speaker hoped would identify with her ideas.

"Sadly the liberal defenders of the multi-interpretive constitution are becoming tired, we can't hold on forever so remember America, Hillary is our only hope. Vote, vote and vote again," Ginsberg said as she finished her speech.

When Ginsberg walked from the stage only half of her audience was still seated as most of the students had to go home and milk the cows or plant wheat fields.

Student leader, Jim Polebender said, "Her clarion call comment was appropriate since the definition of clarion is a loud shrill medieval instrument with a clear high-pitched tone. Her lecture was more than anybody could withstand."

14 comments:

MargeinMI said...

Perhaps she tightened her bun so as to keep her own eyes open?

SGT USMC 1ea said...

Kicking a dead dog will certainly keep you from getting bit. I never knew the shrew was capable of such folksy wisdom. This is as funny as your SF comment was inspiring. Thank God for MS. Pain is our price for staying on earth to do Gods' Will. Inspiration and joy are our rewards for the same!

Deus est Semper Fidelis

JAINPHX said...

Ruth Bader Ginsberg? I thought she passed on,you mean she didn't, she just looks like she did.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

JAINPHX

She is like one of those old rock and roll singers you haven't heard about in years until they die.

The comment is generally, "gee, I thought he/she was alredy dead.

JAINPHX said...

Seems to me I saw a picture of Ms. Ginsberg passed away during oral arguments. at the bench.Or was I mistaken

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

I'm not sure but her keen sense of humor is killing me

camojack said...

JAINPHX:
Here's the picture you refer to.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

camojack

you win the day again. Wish I had found that first

Maggie said...

Isn't Judge Ginsberg the mother of the attorney Ginsberg who defended Monica?

Note to SGT USMC:
(Yes I know that that was a silly question)

Maggie said...

jainphx.....speaking of "kicking a dead dog" or "beating a dead horse".....

Maggie said...

Camo...re picture,
She may have been praying for guidance.

camojack said...

Ms. RightWing, Ink:
Well, now you won't have to find it...


Maggie:
Her? Praying for guidance?!

That's a joke, right?

Maggie said...

Camo.......YES!

darth_meister said...

The kind of face that would make you want to gnaw your arm off. You guys know what I'm talking about.