Millions of Americans went into anaphylactic shock this week-end as two news stories seemed to collide on the front page.
Earlier this morning, Alec Baldwin, who is still trying to put on his pants, said in a rambling, drunkard phraseology that Dick Cheney is a terrorist.
That shocking revelation along with the news that McDonald's hides wheat and dairy products in their french fries, causing perhaps ten of thousands mothers to collapse knowing corporate America is out to get their allergy prone children.
Baldwin, according to his bio, states he is a "vigorous supporter of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and The Performing Animal Welfare Society (PAWS), and a dedicated supporter of the East Hampton Daycare Center."
Nobody is sure what he was trying to say in an article published in The Huffington Post;
but his comments were alarming to many who have come to love our vice president.
"Cheney is a terrorist. He terrorizes our enemies abroad and innocent citizens here at home indiscriminately. Who ever thought Harry Whittington would be the answer to America's prayers. Finally, someone who might get that lying, thieving Cheney into a courtroom to answer some direct questions," Baldwin wrote.
Blogs all across the globe are now trying to decide if Baldwin will also comment on McDonald's hidden poisons aimed at numerous daycare children, who many medical experts feel is the cause of perhaps a million sickly allergenic children.
One tearful mother said french fries is the only fast food her child could eat and even if she removes the bun, a microspeck of wheat would kill her child in an instant.
"The next thing you know the government will force me to cook for my children," Bluebird Peace Jones-Willcox, 27, from Half Moon Bay, California said. "I want my children to have the same opportunities I had and that includes never being forced to eat meals at home."
McDonald's said they present a delicate bouquet of flavors including partially hydrogenated soybean oil and dextrose with just a hint of wheat and milk ingredients.
Radicals like Baldwin, who dropped out of law school to pursue an acting career, have been trying unsuccessfully to close the cow-murdering business for some years now and this attempted child poisoning indictment may be their lucky moment.
Numerous attempts to reach Ronald McDonald have failed but they say on their website that every restaurant has an emergency nebulizer or Albuteral inhaler available behind the counter.
Settle in, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy your stay here at Shelly's. The pie is great, the coffee pot is always on and soon you will find this to be the best place in town. SOON TO BE AMERICA'S MOST READ BLOG