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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Secret Rocket Plans Discovered in Iran

Scientist forecasted an imminent Nuclear Winter when experts recently thumbed through a stack of secret rocket plans allowing Iran to deliver a nuclear warhead virtually anywhere.

CIA agents planted by the Bush Administration inside the boring sand flea infested nation, found the stockpile of rocket plans hidden in a corn crib outside Tehran.

"With these plans Iran has the ability to fly to the Moon, Mars, the distant planet of Zerbafloss 13 or even to Israel," bemoaned America's top nuclear scientist, Richard Von Rickersnapper.

United Nation weapon officials who were sent into the area returned to the General Council with reports stating no such rocket exists.

The UN scientists showed up at the hearings driving brand new expensive touring cars and fine Italian suits, asserting after their exhaustive search of possible locations of rocket launching pads, there was nothing to worry about.

Von Rickersnapper disagrees stating the UN officials searched unlikely places like Bandar e Anzali, the world's largest producer of caviar, chai tea and pistachios, the beautiful Mt. Damavand ski resorts and the garden like burial place of Iranian poet, Omar Khayam.

"The rockets are hidden in the sands of the dessert," Von Rickersnapper warned, "and their technology is awesome."

Experts have been unable to break the code words Tom Swift but most of the agents who saw the documents said it was a mystery found throughout the research papers.

An unaimed agent said he saw papers entitled Tom Swift and his flying lab, Tom Swift and his atomic Earth blaster, Tom Swift and his ultrasonic cycloplane and the most dangerous of them all, Tom Swift and his Megascope space prober.

A total of 27 Tom Swift files were found and scientists are at a loss to understand some of the technical wording, such as Subocean Geotron.

It is not known if the technology is actually in place but the fear of dying by a megascope space probe seemed to take the back seat to Dick Cheney's shooting rampage in Texas that many journalist are refering to as the Senior Citizen Columbine.

Iran has been suspiciously quiet about the discovery and has denied having technology of that sort .

"All those papers were contraband western books stolen from a public library in Little Rock, Arkansas," Iranian President Mohammad Khatami said. "Besides, what harm can a few cartoon characters do anyhow."


'da Bunny said...

Hmmm, inspectors wearing Italian suits, and inspecting the swanky ski resort and gourmet food producing areas...sounds serious to me! Time to start shopping for a new lead suit!

Nice blog, Ms RightWing! I'll try to stop by more often! :-)

onlineanalyst said...

There is silence in the Gulf, forIran fears that Tom Swift may be a double agent for the Greens, who forecast global warming, when the all Iran wants is a religion of pieces and a nuclear winter.

Or is Tom a dangerous weapon himself,one who scrambled the code so that Scooter Libby could not "out" him with the Rovian Mind Control Waves to leak the key until the US completes its secret mission to take over the world.

"Foiled again," Tom said brightly of those who claim he has been playing the fear card. "My plans are out of this world."

onlineanalyst said...

Um, that's "for Iran"

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Hey, that deserves a free cup of joe

camojack said...

That Earth creature has stolen my space modulator!!!

Kajun said...

Did the stolen files from Arkansas have "sock" imprints on them? Inquiring mind wants to know.

The trotting Possum said...

I hate to keep saying it, but Cleveland looks like a likely target.

The Right and Left Coasts are too obvious, and too well-guarded.

Buying more duct tape on Scorpion Hill...

Barb said...

"A person could get hurt, messing with these new weapons ," Tom said explosively.