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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Bush Beat Democrats By Revealing A Major Leak

Democrats were angered this morning when President Bush leaked a secret plan by Al Qaeda to bomb Los Angeles in 2001.

Bush divulged the leak during a speech at the National Guard Memorial while Democrats were hiding in a parking deck after a urinal deodorant set off alarms.

Immediately after the all clear signal, an emergency meeting was called by certain key Democratic members of congress, trying to prove Bush had foreknowledge of the near disaster.

"This whole time, about 5 years by my calculation, Bush has kept this secret from America," Senator Leahy, D-Vermont , said in an emergency congressional inquiry. "If this doesn’t prove Bush new about 911, then I’ll eat a bucket of yellow Vermont snow."

Bush said he leaked the information in order to show the country how important it was for the NSA to tap phone calls of so-called American citizens who convene around Starbucks all day with seemingly nothing to do.

"Obviously many of those people are half crazy from caffeine and with no way to track them, well, we are looking for trouble," Bush said. "They sit around speaking gibberish and scarring away customer."

Khalid Shaikh Mohammed a coffee drinker and mastermind behind the threat, had his sights on a building called, for no obvious reason, the Library Tower.

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosas, along with city fathers later changed the name to the U.S. Bank Tower as an attempt to fool the terrorist.

"If Al Qaeda was going to hit a target in LA, then why would they hit the Library Tower, " Leahy asked. "They hate our culture so why would they not crash into the Hollywood sign."

The plan, similar to the successful hijacking and flying of planes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon that killed more than 3,000 people over four years ago, was stopped with the help of coalition partners in Qatar who ran them over with an army tank, Bush said.

FBI agents also leaked plans found in Sandy Berger’s socks that outlined a threat by several Mid-Eastern men to throw shoe bombs at half-dressed confused looking people at Venice Beach.

"We can no longer pretend that evil does not exist so I am forced to leak before the Democrats leak," Bush said. "You want leaks, I’ll show you leaks."

That threat inflamed Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., enough to blame the president for telling whoppers in order to scare Americans into supporting the Patriot Act, she said at a meeting of United Auto Workers on Wednesday.

"The Bush administration is telling fibs, dirty fibs, dirty leaky rotten fibs," Hillary yelled.

"Besides he cannot explain to me why we have not captured or killed the tallest man in Afghanistan," Clinton said, referring to the Al Qaeda leader.

The leaks in and around Washington in the last 24 hours have been severe enough for city to declare flood warnings.


Maggie said...

Your best blog work so far.

My guess is that Leahy has already eaten too much Vermont yellow snow.....hence the constant leaking.

onlineanalyst said...

What a mastermind that Karl Rove is! With the aid of the FSA snoops, he foiled (but not with tin!) a plot using a terrorist-seized airliner bent on crashing into the Library Tower. Rove was confident that the terrorists were determined to discover whose library usage was part of the secret collection of FBI files that Hillary Clinton was planning to use for generating campaign contributions through blackmail.

HRC could only stomp her feet in indignation that the meanie Rove was capitalizing on creating fear among her campaign supporters.

Madame Hillary concludes that the major leak was committed with a lead pipe in the library by Mr. Danger and his minions.

The Girl-with-Moore further realizes that she, too, cannot see the tallest man, for the elephant in the room is blocking her vision.

camojack said...

He keeps beating them somehow.

Cool, huh?

MargeinMI said...

You rock lady! Keep on bloggin.....

LOVE the picture.

OLA, Aha! Mr. Danger in the LIBRARY! Of Course! (never could win that game. :o( )

SGT USMC 1ea said...

"If Al Qaeda was going to hit a target in LA, then why would they hit the Library Tower, " Leahy asked. "They hate our culture so why would they not crash into the Hollywood sign."

That is so poetic. That sign is the true symbol of American degeneration.


Deus est Semper Fidelis

Barb said...

Maggie ,Leaky Leahy eating that Vermont yellow snow is why he talks so funny. Like he has a marble in his mouth.

I would never have known this secret Ms RW if you hadn't dug out this nugget . Wow, the diaper references are stacking up.