Settle in, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy your stay here at Shelly's. The pie is great, the coffee pot is always on and soon you will find this to be the best place in town. SOON TO BE AMERICA'S MOST READ BLOG

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Deer Consumed Stranger During Cheney's Hunting Trip

Armstrong Ranch, Texas

Both forensic police and FBI agents have agreed the body found under a large oak tree was not that of Dick Cheny's best friend, Harry Whittington.

Whittington, according to eye witnesses, ran quickly from the brush after Cheney took aim at his backside with a 28 gauge shotgun loaded with environmentally friendly bird seed.

Cheney, who loves to pull pranks during hunting trips, took aim and shot his long time friend and lawyer twice in the buttocks.

Experts on light artillery say the bird seed would likely not penetrate through khaki slacks but would still sting like crazy.

In a bizarre twist of events, a stranger to the ranch was found with his heart and other vital organs removed and authorities said his inards were likely a meal for the buck that police were able to photgraph.

"We are still puzzled over the identity of the hunter that was being consumed by Mule Deer," added Jerry Slueth, Marshall of Salome County.

It is rare for the deer to consume a human but authorities have noticed more deer on edge lately since a threat towards a baby deer was published in a national news blog.

"Deer are like that," Sleuth said. "They tend to take care of their own."

The captured deer was checked for rabies then booked for murder.

As news broke of the devastating find, animal activists and national speaker for all things strangely odd, Cindy Sheehan, called for the release of all jailed deer.

Whittington later stumbled back to the lodge where he and Cheney enjoyed a wonderful venison and grouse dinner.



9 comments:

camojack said...

Oh, deer!

MargeinMI said...

That Dick Cheney is well known for his boyish pranks. Heeheee.

Beerme said...

Unusual for Dick to shoot off at the mouth...

Kajun said...

What's a grouse? Sounds like my Aunt Harriet...but she was an English Teacher.

Maybe what some call grouse or partridges are really Prairie Chickens.

Barb said...

That deer must not have had time to hang the stranger up by his heels. Hey, what's fair for Dick should be fair for Deer! That deer had probably gone to get his SUV so he could tie that stranger to the hood and drive all over the county.

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Killer deer make such a mess on the patio

Maggie said...

I tried your Deer Stew recipe,but substituted venison with beef.Honestly,it was delicious.

Happy Valentines Day!

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

I'll be looking for some in the mail!

onlineanalyst said...

Killdeer? Aren't those birds? That's probably why they were looking for seed.