Settle in, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy your stay here at Shelly's. The pie is great, the coffee pot is always on and soon you will find this to be the best place in town. SOON TO BE AMERICA'S MOST READ BLOG

Monday, February 20, 2006

Perot Cashing In On Arab Money

Ross Perot, the spoiler of America's 1992 presidential elections, announced today he wants to cash in and grab onto some Arab money and sell his 8,000 acre Alliance Airport in Houston.

Much controversy has been raised in past few days as Better Homes and Gardens Realty struck a deal with Dubai Ports World (DPW) of the United Arab Emirates to lease with option to buy, a few economically depressed ports in New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, Philadelphia, New Orleans and Miami.

London-based Murder on the Oriental Steam Navigation Co., which had been running the six ports, was purchased last week by the Arab government-owned DPW, raising a few eyebrows in Washington.

Perot who once coined the phrase, "sucking sound," stood before a group of Arab businessmen with his pointer and pie charts, showing them how much money he has pulled in during the last decade warehousing cheap and mostly illegal Mexican products flown into his "secret airport."

In an interview only to be found on RightWing News Ink, a confused and flustered Perot said his ties with the Clinton's have grown distant as the last of the secret weapons have been shipped off to China leaving much of his wharehouse now empty.

"My friend, the only sucking sounds to be heard are on the East Coast. As you can see on my pie charts, Mexico is only good for importing terrorism and my airport could be very useful for a foreign country so it's time to cash out. Why there are billions to be made, it's good for America because I'm good for America," Perot said.

After reporters for RWNI interupted Perot he began throwing fits screaming "Can I finish Larry? Can I finish?"


Perot's fear is the sale of American ports will drive down the value of the Alliance Airport.

"Jimmy Carter never had a lick of sense when he gave away the Panama Canal in 1978, why he could have held out for a billion dollars from the Chinamen who now sell zillions of dollars of junk to Americans. A waste I tell you, now we will be buying trinkets from the Arabs. I've had it," Perot said as he threw the pie charts to the ground and started jumping on them.

It has been forecasted by several businessmen the lease/sale of the ports will create new blood for depressed sea port towns.

"Your all crazy, crazy, I tell you, I hope the sucking sound sucks your ships stupid," Perot continued. "Hello, ding-dong dagnabit, ain't you listening to me. This is your America, but the airport is mine, all mine and you all just don't get it. Now your lose lips sunk ships. I'm going home, good-by. Hey some wake up Admiral Stockdale, what do ya mean he's dead. He's not dead until I say he's dead. I'm out of here."

12 comments:

onlineanalyst said...

"...the sale of the ports will create new blood for dead seaport towns."

Yup! That's the concern all right. We just hope that it won't be American blood, which up to this point has been safe in our seaports.

camojack said...

Interestingly enough, I saw that my blog was accessed from the U.A.E.

I guess there'll be a fatwa issued against me now...

MargeinMI said...

You've got Perot down to a T! I can hear that whiny little voice now [shudder]. I thought he was absolutely WACK back then and always wondered how the American people could take him seriously. Now look at the grab bag of loonies we have today! Makes Perot look like a laid back diplomat. Not sure if that is funny or sad. Hmmmm...

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Camojack. aww, don't worry about it, look at how high your comment numbers are

I am a "real" journalist, I wonder if I can acess his secret bloog.

I too am thinking of setting up a secret blog, accesed by only some of the "highest" minds in the world.



Marge

That whiney little voice was in my head all night. That'll teach me to blog in my pajamas

Ms. RightWing, Ink said...

Camojack. aww, don't worry about it, look at how high your comment numbers are

I am a "real" journalist, I wonder if I can acess his secret bloog.

I too am thinking of setting up a secret blog, accesed by only some of the "highest" minds in the world.



Marge

That whiney little voice was in my head all night. That'll teach me to blog in my pajamas

camojack said...

Ms. RightWing, Ink:
Other than Ireland and the U.S., I've gotten hits from Germany, Hungary, Australia and the United Arab Emirates, all in the past 3 days.

Obviously they don't all comment...but then, others comment too much. Know what I mean?!

Funny thing though; after I posted a comment about being able to track I.P. addresses, he didn't comment again, and I could tell that he came back after that and spent 20+ minutes looking at several pages of my blog.

Tracking software. Gotta love it!!!

camojack said...

Spoke too soon...he's BACK!!!

Maggie said...

The only sucking sound I hear is Perot because "he sucks".

Mr. Baldo said...

March 7th 2006.

Mark that date!

Mr. Baldo's 80th Birthday Extravaganza!

FREE containers of Baldo's Shiny Wax™ for Balds!


(While supplies last.)

COMING TO A FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD DRUGSTORE NEAR YOU!

Look for the Mr. Baldo display in your friendly neighborhood drugstore!



Now with Phlogiston®‼
Baldo's Shiny Wax™ for Balds. Available at your friendly neighborhood drugstore.

Kajun said...

I have customers in all them farn countries, except Asia.

tomg said...

Love the cafe
Camo - I think you'll be left alone because you know possumtrot. May need to introduce Michele Malkin to Possumtrot so he could provide her with protection, if he wanted to.

camojack said...

tomg:
Possibly...but I really wasn't worried about it, thanks.