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Friday, February 10, 2006
Ken Runs Away to Broken Back Hills
After Mattel spent spent numerous years and countless hundreds of dollars turning Ken into a bright young Metrosexual, the toy maker announced today it was scraping the project.
Insiders at the secretive toy maker's design studios told reporters from RightWing News Ink, after several attempts to reintroduce Barbie and Ken, the electricity just wasn't there.
Barbie, who has lived high and mighty for several decades has rejected the smooth faced, wavy hair young vocalist and part time waiter, for Jake the Welder Doll.
Jake, has been instrumental in helping Barbie get off barbiturates and Jack Daniels, a combination that has sent her to The Betty Ford Clinic on several occasions.
"Barbie just hasn't handled success very well," top designer Percy Widestripes told reporters and this new boy-toy just can't relate to her. "He's the new kid on the block and she's been around more times than a cheap carnival merry-go-round."
The only Ken Doll left in existence has escaped the Los Angeles toy factory and according to investigators has been seen in and around Broken Back Hills.
Police in the not-so-rugged Texas town are searching closets at the Plaza Hotel but as of press time law enforcement officials have only found his Gouchi bag.
Wanted posters have been posted on e-bay.