Deer Consumed Stranger During Cheney's Hunting Trip

Armstrong Ranch, Texas

Both forensic police and FBI agents have agreed the body found under a large oak tree was not that of Dick Cheny's best friend, Harry Whittington.

Whittington, according to eye witnesses, ran quickly from the brush after Cheney took aim at his backside with a 28 gauge shotgun loaded with environmentally friendly bird seed.

Cheney, who loves to pull pranks during hunting trips, took aim and shot his long time friend and lawyer twice in the buttocks.

Experts on light artillery say the bird seed would likely not penetrate through khaki slacks but would still sting like crazy.

In a bizarre twist of events, a stranger to the ranch was found with his heart and other vital organs removed and authorities said his inards were likely a meal for the buck that police were able to photgraph.

"We are still puzzled over the identity of the hunter that was being consumed by Mule Deer," added Jerry Slueth, Marshall of Salome County.

It is rare for the deer to consume a human but authorities have noticed more deer on edge lately since a threat towards a baby deer was published in a national news blog.

"Deer are like that," Sleuth said. "They tend to take care of their own."

The captured deer was checked for rabies then booked for murder.

As news broke of the devastating find, animal activists and national speaker for all things strangely odd, Cindy Sheehan, called for the release of all jailed deer.

Whittington later stumbled back to the lodge where he and Cheney enjoyed a wonderful venison and grouse dinner.